xairea

I wish I could kill myself.

Life doesn't feel like it's worth living.

Good things are not meant to come my way.

I end up losing everyone in my life.

Nothing ever changes.

i thought you were cool and had potential

i think in reality you were just the first person who'd finally given me attention from the apps

i think your taste in music is fucking ass (where's the kpop? why the fuck are you listening to beadabadoobee)

you play garbage games (lost ark?? maplestory?? starcraft?? the fuck)

you're technically unemployed

just a disappointment in every way. not what i want.

just another reminder i'm alone and what i really wanted was ripped away from me instead

cheer up irene – you have 4 interviews this week. you also emailed 35+ recruiters/talent managers. you're working hard. you're doing okay.

snap out of it

• he cancelled a date once things got vulnerable and real
• he didn't try and meet you halfway; he always put himself first when you did your best to put him first
• he chose to be selfish instead of giving you communication
• he didn't ask how your hospital visit went
• he started to lie and break his word a lot
• he didn't stay and fight

i'm 3 months late,

and we don't talk anymore.

but. i'm really sorry that your mom passed away.

i'm sorry that you're now alone in this world.

without parents,

without siblings,

without a home you can go back to.

you were kind of horrible to me,

and i wasn't perfect to you,

but tonight, i'm thinking about you.

without malice, disdain, or anger.

just tonight, i wish you the best.

i'm sorry you lost your family.

and i'm sorry that things couldn't have ended better between us.

we'll never talk again, but maybe—finally, i can say i wish you well.

thank you for a fun 1 month together.

and i hope your future shines bright.

i'm feeling: lonely. kinda wish i had someone to share my day with the way i used to. maybe it's not HIM i miss, but the way i could share i planned to go to the gym for 2 hours, watch twilight with my friends today, or just had someone agree to buy my desk — i don't have a person to share these things with the way i once used to. i'm lonely and want a person i can love and share my life with.

i'm excited to continue working on my glutes today. will probably try to fit in at least 4 workouts before going back to toronto.

he's cute, but how do i know he's truly worth my time? wait for them to show up before giving parts of myself to them. t got too much of me too early, and now i know better.

i finally tracked my budget + spending (YTD 2025) in an excel spreadsheet!!! feels so freaking good (i am so broke)