i wish
i wish you asked if i was okay when i took the pills.
i wish you gave actual apologies when you do something wrong – the way i always try to do when i cross your boundaries.
i wish you would tell me your favorite games/movies/interests so we could explore them, together.
i wish you wouldn't run away when things get tough, but take the time to talk to me – because i'm always on your team.
i wish you would take an hour out of your day, where all you do is bedrot, to exchange a postcard with me, because i told you how it means the world to me.
i wish you gave me little compliments and praises whenever i share parts of my life with you.
i wish you show me love when i send selfies the way i do with you.
i wish you made me feel secure.
i wish you made me feel wanted.
i wish you made me feel enough.
i wish you asked me to send more food pictures the way i do with you.
i wish you took the thought of you coming to montreal to visit me seriously + tried to plan it out with me.
i wish you shared more parts of your life with me.
i wish you showed me the sweetwater bog comic you made with your friend where i was featured in it as the montreal girl.
i wish i could make you happier.
i wish i could stop scaring you off.
i wish you asked if i was okay now, because of you – i'm not.
and after all of this, i still love you.