It's been a year
It’s been a year since my close childhood friends “betrayed” me, and I’m still carrying the hurt and sadness. I got a picture from a friend, showing my so-called “close friends” eating together somewhere. It was confusing because just the night before, we were gaming on Call of Duty Mobile. We used to play almost every night since the pandemic started, so I couldn’t figure out why they didn’t invite me.
Looking at the photos my other friend sent, I felt disrespected. They chatted in our group as if they weren’t physically together, deliberately leaving me out. The “betrayal” hit hard.
That night, one of them invited me to play CODM, but I said no. I was hurt and couldn’t pretend everything was fine. The next day, I joined their game, but I stayed quiet. They talked, but it was obvious they felt guilty, never asking why I wasn’t talking.
After that, they played at different times, never inviting me. They even played during our usual time without checking if I wanted to join. I felt invisible, and no one reached out.
Accepting that my childhood friends treated me this way was tough. They were like family, and it felt like I lost a part of myself. I couldn’t forget because I remember everything, and their actions haunted me. I found myself crying at night, overthinking, and feeling alone.
Then, I realized I had other friends who cared. Rain, Shabby, Alaine, Lou, El, JV, Red, Mina, and Mia noticed and reached out. They listened and cared. I started chatting in online forums, meeting Drew and Rie just before my birthday. It was refreshing to meet people who valued me, unlike my old friends. Spending time with them was worth it, and I’m thankful for friends who appreciate me.
I met Kira in person, and she introduced me to her boyfriend, our first face-to-face meeting after knowing each other for years. Shane and Danna, online buddies for almost a decade, supported me. I hope to meet them someday. Sherina, Jem, and Luis, my new online friends, are great listeners, especially when I talk about my “friends.” Sherina’s dog shares the same name as mine, Coco. It’s cool how pets connect people.
These people showed me true friendship isn’t always physical. They were there when I needed them, and I’m grateful for their kindness.
Meeting new friends helped me see the universe’s mysterious ways. Losing my childhood friends hurt, but it led me to people who are now important in my life. I’m still healing, but with my new friends’ support, I can move forward and make lasting memories.
(Originally posted on April 28, 2023 at paper.wf)