Today is hard. I needed plants, easy care ferns for my patio. It sounds so simple. My walking deteriorated with every step. I am a hazard. Using my cane to navigate the rows of tiny and large, many-coloured plants, it is hard to focus on choice. It is hard to just exist with my body once strong, now unreliable.
I found some ferns, soft and chaotic. I simply decided on Thai mint and chives for herbs. I am relying on a bigger trust than in my sole choice. There is not enough energy or capacity to take too long with decisions. I made it home, even stopping one more time to get some groceries. Slow and sad, I made it
Today is not great. My loss is here for the time. Permission is given to feel this reality with every unstable step.