How to Establish Open Relationship Rules

All relationships benefit from setting clear boundaries and expectations, but it’s especially important to do this in open relationships. The nitty-gritty details of what you’re comfortable with can be difficult to talk about, but doing so helps avoid misunderstandings down the road and keeps everyone happy. In an open relationship (also known as ethical non-monogamy or consensual non-monogamy), you and your partner can date or have sex with other people, but your primary relationship is still the priority.

It’s crucial to discuss what you’re both comfortable with, including how many other partners you want to have and whether or not you want to explore kinks or activities that aren’t related to your main relationship. You should also decide how you’re going to communicate your boundaries to one another and what constitutes cheating.

Some of the rules you establish may be more practical, like using protection to reduce your risk of getting or sharing an STD and checking in with each other regularly about your sexual health. Others might be more emotional, such as what type of intimate activity you want to have with your primary partner and how you expect them to interact with other people.

Whatever rules you come up with, it’s important to write them down and share them with your partners, so that there is no confusion or miscommunication about what’s okay and what’s not in your open relationship. It’s also a good idea to revisit your memorandum every few months or so to make sure it’s still working for you.How to establish open relationship rules