the last days with the other guy was at a small house somewhere in the middle of nowhere. he wheeled me up the drive way in the carry-on i was stuffed in (don't remember that? go read the previous entry) and when i finally got out of that torture i remember sitting around just starring blankly into space just recovering. like it's boring but at the same time the walls and the colorful mess in your eyes is just the most interesting thing in that moment. total brain fart.

i snapped out of it eventually. it was night then and the room was just completely dark. no lights, just was staring into the abyss as the sun set. it was so.. quiet. the middle of nowhere. nothing, just silence like the power's gone out or something. it hadn't- i guess i've just never been in a truly quiet place. it was nice to sit there. i didn't want to know if the door was locked, if it was it might've ruined the feeling; better not to know.

eventually i put something on and tried the door. hall wasn't carpeted, feet got cold. walked around for a while and honestly didn't find anyone home for a while. master came down stairs while i was just there. i kneeled on the foot of the stairs and he asked me if i was alright since i just absolutely phased out for most of the day.

he really was worried. here i thought i found someone who'd truly run me to my death for pleasure and he's worried, for me. telling him that didn't help either, he didn't want to continue on this sort of thing. said i could help myself to anything in the kitchen and that i can spend the night and he'll take me to dover like he promised.

is this what, a rejection? how do you reject me, reject what i want? now im three people in and still wondering where a man with the guts to flay me is? how hard is it to find a truly exploitative person?

the end of that trip into dover wasn't all bad. at least he did cuff me up and left me without a decent pair of clothes, like he said. but he really filled the fantasy right from the start. the rest are just small in contrast. a creep who just wanted to cuff me up in public and a guy who didn't even lay a hand on me yet. said to lay around in my underwear probably as a joke and is still confused why i went along and did it anyway.

i'm not going to find him amm i? not here, not anywhere. i just need to be someones pleasure, someones play thing though the night . forever until i die writhing from something you did. please

i m just slowly losing it as i keep writing this in. its just me. cagedup.

the last guy was an extreme ride. i must've been cuffed up in a dozen different places all over. not really sexy, just a little terrifying and a whole lot of boring. the last one was cuffed up to a flag pole outside of some abandoned factory for 24 hours. i lost a bunch of weight after this leg. got back a few days ago and just needed to sleep and eat for a few days.

i won't write about it just yet- still can't think completely straight. what i can remember is during one of the longer lock ups outside it started raining and some weird younger guy came and touched me and took pictures of me. drew a pentagram on my thigh with a marker and left. that was the weirdest thing ever.

i'm somewhere in kentucky right now. sorta tri-state. my ears popped so i must've went over a mountain at some point. send messages though i'm still around. im spending the nights with a “friend” who's letting me stay if im in my undies for free.

seeya

i'm starting on the next strech- this one is short, just a day or two. he told me not to spoil what he planned for me in this post, let's just say it involves alot of being cuffed up in public places. i'm still a total newbie to exhibitioning myself, so it should be my right mix of fun and absolutely terrifying.

but you didnt finish the blog from last time

this leg of my journey isn't going to be long so i think i'll be able to continue in a few days with the rest of what happened. i've spent most of the day getting ready to leave the hotel. also writing thousands of words a day is hard lol

i should end up somewhere around tennesse or the carolinas after this. near there, send messages while im gone. bye bye dover, deleware. (and bye bye crazy rain- sheesh!)

had a big sleep and actually ate something this morning. turns out i have this room for the entire week, which doesn't sound cheap. i got a few e-mails yesterday so hopefully i wont need to stick around that long. also i have like, no idea how to use xmpp :( but it is working.

the weather said there might be tornadoes today, so that should be fun to deal with. anyway, time to continue with more of last week's events.

shopping trip

remember that shocky evil thing? yeah that's how that starts. i was sleeping, and that didn't fly. ouch. i remember he picked me out of the trunk and told me to change into one of my normal clothes (it's like a pale blue/white leafy dress). we were in some field but it was still weird changing outside. i remember he moved the shock cuff up from my ankle to my thigh so the dress covers it. he had me sit handcuffed shotgun the rest of the trip. sometimes he touched me.

eventually we pulled to a hotel somewhere in a city. he took my cuffs off and told me to follow him to his room. he stopped to check in, and then we went straight there.

when we got there he sat me onto his lap and explained he was hungry and wanted lunch. he said i'll have $35 and an hour to go to the shopping mall down the road and come back and make him something. he said if i dont come back in an hour he wont let me eat and if im two hours late he will come and find me. he was fondling me the entire time and tapped the shock cuff around my thigh when he said he would come find me.

it was a bit hot that day, but i wasn't really wearing anything under the dress so it aired out pretty okay. (though in the store it was COLD. aaaaa) the walk was big long, maybe like 20 minutes. i went into the publix there and got some like fozen stir-fry and a bottle of iced tea for him. bottle of water and bought a carton of cookies.

going to be honest the stir-fry wasn't so frozen when i finally got back but i finally got back and he said i was a few minutes late. so that meant no food. and i was already hungry at this point. i apoplogized and he told me to get to the kitchenette and make it, and make a plate for me just so he can rub it in my face that i cant eat it.

so i did that, there was an actual frying pan which is suprising i was just going to microwave it, but i actually fried it instead. i stuck the iced tea in the mini fridge so that it'd hopefully get cold. if its warm then not iced tea anymore. right?

i set everything on a table in the room and he eats while i just sort of stare at my food all hungry. after a bit he says, if i blow him under the table i can eat in just a casual way. i was a bad girl and had to make it up to him. don't even have to say what i did. i remember he held me down near the end and that was like, one of the worst feelings ever. i didn't vomit but i sure as fuck felt like it, super overwhelming.

i got to eat. no spitting things out or brushing my teeth or washing my face off. he took my spoon too. had to just grab with my hands or dig my face in there. i smelled the gross slobbery smell on my face and everything tasted like, dewy? like cum. and the food was cold again. it was miserable but it was food.

after i ate he let me clean up the dishes and then wash myself off in the bathroom. then when he took a shower he handcuffed me to a chair. had alot of time to think about things. very boring. also a little weird sitting on my dress without any panties. i don't go commando lol, maybe i should. it was kinda nice.

packed up

after he came out of the shower he pulled a large travel bag from the closet and put it on the floor. he freed me off the chair and said to strip naked and put myself in it. i'm not cluasterphobic, but i know how sweaty and uncomfortable trapped under a bunch of fabric is. he said im going to be in the rest of the ride. ough.

he cuffed me up, blindfold, gag, the works. even put earplugs in. making sure i can't make too much attention. he closed it up and it was fine for the first like 10 minutes, then the rest of the time it was uncomfortably hot inside of the suitcase. he put a vibrator in me too, so after a while it was all sorts of horrible in that suitcase.

i dont know what it is about the position i was in but everything hurt after a while. even orgasms hurt. i completely have no idea how much time i spent in there, but at some point we were driving. i'm not sure, i couldn't tell. i was going crazy in that bag.

i dont know what to write about this part of the trip. horrible, torturous? honestly i dont know what i preferred more, being electrocuted by the shock cuff (which i still had on and it felt so weird) or being in that carry-on. honestly the shock cuff is at least short. in the bag it felt like my brain was melting. being jostled by bumpy concrete whenever he rolled it around didn't help either.

eugh it sucked.

next time

once again i think has gotten a bit long. (took me well into lunch, i should get better at typing). im still in the hotel in delaware. message if you want, i'm free. you know the drill.

i managed to buy something to wear over my bikini and shorts, so now i don't look like a weird beach-goer. oh and hopefully the tornadoes dont kill me, because they forecasted really shit weather today.

see you tomorrow. i'll just keep chipping away at what i remember. if i'm not free at any point i'll just continue whenever i am.

suprise! he meant it. today i woke up blindfolded in a hotel room and spent the last hour geting out of handcuffs. was kinda fun, but also a little terrifying. i don't actually remember getting here, i must've passed out cold last night. there's been alot of stuff the past week so this will just go from the top.

the start

when he first came to the room he just looked at me for a while. i was blindfolded then, too, so i couldn't see what he was doing. touched me through the cage. looked around the room. he read the note on the table and found the control for the lush, and just turned it up to max. then he took one of my bags and left for what felt like an hour! that was terrifying. at that point i didn't know who it was, he never said anything. i was trying to get out of the cage and cuffs at that point.

then he came back, uncuffs me and gets me out of the cage. he shoved me onto the bed and put the cuffs back on, and this time behind me. he told me it was him, and that he's putting a shock cuff around my leg, and if i disobeyed him he'd use it. and then used it just to make a point.

you ever get smacked really hard? and it's like a blistering cold or hot feeling and everything is warbled where you got hit? imagine that shooting out every direction up your body, but every couple of seconds, and with your muscles cramping so hard you want to scream. that's what getting electrocuted by one of those cuffs feels like. i screamed the entire time it was on. it really fucking hurt.

i was tearing up and just struggling around on the bed, he lifted me up and started touching me all over. it was so overwhelming i just didn't move around, i didn't even really enjoy the sex- it was just happening to me. this is all exciting to think about but it's the terror i feel that really made this moment.

the rest of that night is kinda hard to remember, but there was sex. i passed out at some point because how late it got. i remember i was really thirsty. dried up like a rasin.

that morning i was hungry mess, my hands were cuffed behind him, like i was hugging him behind my back. i was naked, he was naked. i was so scared if i wake him up. so i just sat there, trying to go back to sleep. like half an hour later he wakes up and gets out from behind me and does his morning things. once he grabbed me and shoved me back into the cage. and left the room.

i thought “fuck he's going to trap me here and leave.” and i was still wearing that cuff and i swore if he was going to use it from outside the room. but he came back like 10 minutes later with food and got me back out of the cage. he took the blindfold off me and i saw him sorta smirking at me.

he looked like a few years older than me, maybe 26? 30? didn't look that bad, but with the remote for the shock thing he was scary as hell. he told me if i wanted to eat before i went into his trunk i would have to kneel and beg him. he took off my handcuffs and said if i wanted to leave i could leave now instead. if i wanted to keep going i had to cuff myself and beg him for a meal.

obviously, i was terrified of him. but this is exactly what i wanted and it was a ticket out of my home town and he seemed like the right kind of person. i put those cuffs right back on and begged. he lifted me up by my throat and held the remote for the shocker. i still begged for food. i was hungry, i was tired and desparate.

but he didn't shock me. he threw me down and told me to crawl towards the table. there was a little styrofoam take-out of some eggs and waffles and a water bottle. i sat down and he didn't let me eat until i pleaded again and oh that feeling was like sex. the food was cold and crap but it was so good. akward to eat while handcuffed but i've done it before.

in the trunk

so after that, he let me shower and do my morning things. all while cuffed on the ankles and arms, by the way. he had to help me shower and i felt like a kid, honestly worse than being shocked by the cuff. luckily that wasn't on when i was in there.

after i got out he was holding my lush, told me to spread my legs. he put it in there. dressed me in my black bikini. he put it on for me. and also some flip-flops. he put that shock cuff back, just above my ankle and told me to go outside. kneel on the concrete. wait for him to get dressed.

it must've been like 4 in the morning. it was a little cool out there. honestly i've never been out this early almost ass naked. i kneeled just under the window of our room. the concrete was so cold and it hurt to sit there. it was all rocky and dusty.

there was almost nobody in the lot, like three cars. i saw another room still had lights in the curtain. oh how i begged (in my head) for them to not come out and walk over.

after i sat down he turned on the vibrator from inside the room. so fuck me, im outside, basically naked in a hotel parking lot. everyone could see me and im squirming around like a horny idiot. i'm going to admit, i did cum from that total helplessness. i loved it.

he came out eventually. i had to waddle across the lot with him becase he parked on the other side of the hotel. we walked past every room it was so fucking emarassing. i have no idea who saw, probably no one. if you're the hotel manager and you had cameras out there, hope you liked my tits :P

he opened the trunk and in there there was a dog collar chained to some part in the trunk. he locked it on me and shut the trunk. the back seats were down, or something. i could see up through the trunk into the car, sorta. i remember he opened the door a few minutes later and put what sounded like my cage in the back seat.

the whole ride was a little boring. the lush was buzzing this entire time, it was just pitch black with the occasional street light. what really was up is that it was kinda uncomfortable back there. i didn't scream or anything, i just let the car take me along.

at some point when the sun was just rising we stopped somewhere. he left and came back with like a box that he put in the back seat. he checked on me and i wanted to pee. he drove near like some alley and he made me pee out there. first time i ever pissed in public, not exactly proud of it.

then it was back in the car. no vibe for the rest of the trip because it was dead and he took it out when we got out. at that point i fell asleep because i was so tired.

next time

this is getting pretty long and i have to figure out what to do next. i'll continue writing tomorrow, if im still around. this morning i had to get out of handcuffs which took foreverrr. if i didn't have a blindfold on i would've seen the keys are on the table in front of me. >:(

right now im in some hotel in delaware, so if you live near there, message me with what you want to do to me. i have a bit of money now, and obviously i still have some of my things. hopefully i wont end up being barely-dressed homeless runaway slave by the end of the week.

see you all tmrw

P.S. free justin hyche!

today is the day that defines the rest of my life. i got a room in a little motel on the edge of town for the night. from tonight i dont belong to myself. i will be a little thing to play with and leave broken. the man coming to pick me up is coming from out of town. i'm going to spend the next few hours waiting in this cheap horrible motel chained up for his enjoyment.

he told me he wanted me cuffed up naked in a cage. blindfolded, gagged and helpless. i'm going to. i spent the last bit of money i have on a cage big enough for me. if he wants me, i will be his, helpless. he can do anything and i just have to hope he'll free me soon.

he says he'll rape me, and beat me and put a shock collar on me. i'll be in his trunk and we'll go on a road trip together for a week. then he says he'll leave me in a hotel handcuffed with nothing but a pair of shorts and some cash.

i'm going to get myself ready right after i send this. i'm going to put a lush in, to make waiting for him that much more fun. i'll leave the card to the room outside on the AC. i've left everything I have in that room, my money, my clothes and the chromebook i'm using to write this.

goodbye from berwick PA. see you in a week telling you how it went. then i'll do it again.