Me being honest and completely vulnerable

Everything I generally try to guard on personal problems and challenges.

Usually, I never show my vulnerable side to people; no matter how bad the situation is, I either cry alone or with family and show a smiling face to everyone else. It's partly from my mom's teachings. Every friend or person who met me knows me only as someone who always smiles.

Now, I am aware that everyone faces hardships, and there is not one smooth ride for any life in the universe. I am neither shy nor try to feel strong by not showing my vulnerable side to friends and others. It's simply that I don't want to bother others with my perils and trauma. It's not that Boson is leading rosy days every day, not that there are no panic attacks, not that there are no palpitations, not that there are no insurmountable ache that overwhelms all other things often that make me think it's better to sleep more and forget all this reality.

Okay, let me open up everything I have done wrong so far, not to find closure or forget them after writing, but to own up as a character, face them again, and move forward, taking lessons from each case. After facing these in this post, we will talk of grateful things here. But sit back, get popcorn, enjoy the stories, and let's laugh and cry together; it will be long.

Note: This post is more challenging for me to write personally; I have to sleep through to control the palpitations and shivers, just rethinking some things, but I know I have to do it. I have to face them all and let them pass over me and through me for the sake of myself and everyone I care about and will have to care.