one of the reason I liked working with criminal kids is because it’s a heart to heart. i understand the rage, and i can be your leader. telling them i can manage mine, until i can’t. ah dammit, some trash came out.
i don’t know why i’m a sociopath. i just know that there’s this weird line. on one side, people who would NEVER do or say X, Y, and Z. and then there’s us, on the other side, whose ears perk up. i’m interested in the things that can’t be said or done. i won’t resist saying and doing it. because of this nihilism and this parody and boredom and irony and suicidal tendencies. i hope somebody says and does it, the undoable, the unsayable. if you do it, if you say it, i’ll laugh, i’ll still love you. so few things make my face go seriously still.
i want to tell you about how my boss is shitty, (it’s their #1 duty, to BE shitty, GREAT JOB, BOSS. you want your boss to be trustworthy WE’RE A FAMILY HERE, HEH HEH HEH if it’s a woman, they really believe it: the family crap if it’s a white woman, she wants to relieve her anxiety so help her or suffer her punishments, her burdens, her rot
she’s pale, she’s weak, she’s in charge. she’s smart, but she’s blinded with bias toward justifying herself. for white women, it’s their feelings versus real thoughts, and if they win, you lose. in their world, anyway.
And she’s feeling angry and self-righteous, warm and liberal How could she and she’ll be sorry and I draw a line right there, you’re outta here, (to me) I’m out I crashed
Her, she’s like most petty tyrants, fancies herself a martyr. Husband doesn’t love her. Son can’t wait to leave her. And she can’t wait for them to leave. So that things can be orderly and proper. And so that people will thank her for holding up the illusion.