On the Trauma of Being Ejected
Special education hospital residential programs run for non-profit appear similar to orphanages, and they have a similar purpose and function.
They are full of rejected children, and adults working for around 20/hour.
Many adults come in feeling compassion, but it dissipates, because the kids are so annoying, disrespectful, gross, dirty, mean, aggressive, sweaty, bloody, covered in poop, etc.
And the kids “don’t listen.”
Why would they? Listen to who? Why? I want to tell staff:
You’re no one. You’re no one to them. They don’t have to listen to you. They shouldn’t listen to you. You’re not even regulated right now.
Adults join others in persecuting these kids for pay without much push.
It’s contagious. One adults sees another adult tell the kid that’s been yelling all day to Shut The Fuck Up, he laughs, and they laugh together.
Now they both think, Shut The Fuck Up, when the kid starts stimming.
They want to shut him up. They want him to shut up. They want him to stop stimming. They have to change his pull-up again. Now you pissed yourself, they say, and drag you by the arm to the showers. Kid yells, fuck you bitch! Now they’ll get a strict response for the rest of the day.
Remember when you said, Fuck you bitch, to me? Yeah, I aint doing nothing for you. No favors. Also, no snacks.
You don’t like apples? Well that’s what we got. You should be grateful, having nothing else, right? They nod at each other.
Kid starts swearing. Kid starts throwing furniture.
And there you go again! Now you get hit in the head with a chair.
Now you’re really pissed.
No snack for bedtime! All prizes and rewards cancelled!
He’s gonna learn to listen! You tell yourself.
Worrying, why won’t he listen to me? Or DO WHAT I SAY?
He’s just an asshole, he’s just a dick, shitty kid, fuck him.
Still on the clock, aren’t you,
getting paid to abuse kids.
Take a break. Let me switch you out.
Or I’m going to childline or adultline your fucking ass.
If it’s me, tell me to go smoke, I will.
It can happen to anyone. It’s a result of something I don’t understand.
Some trauma shit, abuse cycles, dysregulation.
Adults are kids inside. Kids are people.