Juniper
Juniper is 20 years old, and she looks like a regular Nancy. She looks composed thoughtful, and makes some appropriate comments while sitting in her swing. She might say, I don’t have to talk to you. She’ll say, “PU, what stinks, did you fart?” She’ll say hi to people by name. When she stands up to change locations (not a preferred moment), she twirls a full, slow 360 degrees for every other step. She wears a pull-up. She looks like a “young maid,” with two dark braids and a freckled nose, eyes that blink and give the illusion of involvement.
Last week, when I had to help her move into the kitchen because a fellow resident was starting to smash and punch and throw and break things, there was no skipping the twirls, but I tried to rush them, and cover for her. We sat in the kitchen together for 10 minutes, talking. I made the mistake of engaging with her request to watch Annie, which for me, and most people, would mean, “soon” or “sometime,” but for her meant, right now. So she said Annie about 300 times at the end, as I started to get tired with it and need to switch or simply going into a spaced out zone. It became intolerable, Annie Annie Annie Clifford (the Big Red Dog?) Vigorous head nodding, Annie Annie Annie watch Annie? But for a while we just talked, saying hi, and talking about the imaginary smell.
Her: it stinks, did you fart? Me: PU, what’s that smell? Her: What’s that smell? It smells like fruit. Me: Did you fart? PU, it stinks. Her: What’s that smell? Me: It smells like hamburgers Her: It smells like hamburgers *smiles
Upstairs: crash bang, crash bang
Her: damn Me: damn Her: What time is it? Me: It’s almost time Her: It’s almost time. What time is it? Me: It’s 4:30. Her: It’s almost time.
*crash bang
Her: are you hungry? Me: It’s almost time Her: What’s that smell? PU did you fart? Me: What time is it? Her: What time is it? It’s almost time. Me: Are you hungry? What time is it? Her: Did you fart? It smells like fruit Me: It smells like fruit Her: Are you hungry? Me: It’s almost time
Her: watch Annie? and that’s where I lost control of the thread, but the other kid became calm enough to come to dinner, and so that’s what we did next.
“I don’t have to talk to you.” She says that because like everything else she says, someone in her life said it A LOT. They mimic and communicate more tangentially than Jesus with his little parables. Follow the steps of the script to something concrete, as a general rule.
Last night when I got to Will’s house (lives in a small mansion on rich side of city limits), his sister and mom was fawning over him, trying to help him calm down. They said he wasn’t happy with anything and couldn’t choose anything. I suggested “go sit in bed, watch TV,” because it’s the baseline place to start. His main perseveration was going to the bathroom and then changing his mind, leading his caretaker in maddening circles.
I have a similar IBS situation as he does, for different reasons, but I know a bloated belly when I see one (usually just looking down at my feet), so I dug my fingers into the belly at different point like how my old chiropractor and his assistant did to me. Finding the valve, flexing it open, hearing the gurgle of moving fluid. He said, :wow and whoa. Then we stood up to sing and dance to “happy and you know it,” then I suggested we use the basement (it’s finished) bathroom just to see if a location change would help things move, and it worked.
Not a great poop, still loose and appearance of heat *see Chinese Traditional Medicine, but at least he got some out. I hate wiping up a diarrhea butt, but a caretakers gotta do it. I helped him take a bath later, and I make sure he’s clean and once out of the bath, dry. I feel like I give him the best cleaning of his caretakers. He looks sad when I wash his hair because some water always drops into his face or eyes, but other than that, he doesn’t fight the bath, or any of it. He wants to be clean. He just cannot get his hands to do the hand things necessary, that connection is severed. Hands are for flapping. But my hands are for working, and cleaning.
I think the most important thing I do though is function as a verbal filter, where I like translate every event into a 2-3 word descriptive phrase, that we repeat and make into songs.
I look forward to working with Juniper again, because she’s funny, and her scripts are fire.