It wasn’t easy to face our class yesterday, when I came back after the weekend plus a personal day on Monday. Tom was still very mad about how I’d been mean and called him bratty. I said I wish I could do the whole day over. I’d do it totally differently. I’m sorry I was mean and said you were being bratty. So, I’m sorry, you know.
Yeah, said Tom, with smug relief, You’d better be, he said, and his eyes lit up, met mine a little bit, grateful, hopeful, then flitting away, rocking in his seat, drawing something incredible.
You’ll have to, ah, give me another chance to try to work on not yelling when I’m feeling sick or not up to everything.
He had some idea it had to do wtih my parents, or something I didn’t understand, but he said clearly, but you still can’t do that, even if “something” or my parents are sick. I didn’t realy understand but it was in front of the whole class and my job was to listen and model apologizing, not seek a logical narrative.
Everybody let us move on, so I’m grateful for that. Speaks to the trust we’ve built already as a group.
First thing in the morning, I let him glare at me a little bit. I was in a totally different space than last Friday, when I “lost my temper” being scary teacher. After seeming like I was a nice teacher (that was one of Tom’s complaints last friday, I thought you were NICE!). When my teammates said, and he said, you were mean, I agreed right away. I am mean. I can be mean. I was being out of control when I started yelling back at them (because I was sick) NOT an excuse, Tom! I agree. Let’s both agree on that being fair. It’s not an excuse to be mean (yell at) people when you’re sick, or break the computer or window, but it’s much more likely to happen. That’s a timeline of scientific facts, ma’am or sir.