Guitar
I started learning to play guitar in 2002, in Brooklyn. Somehow I had my sister’s acoustic guitar (later on, cats knocked it over and broke off the neck), and I had a book of basic chords. I would wake up earlier than going to work required and practice guitar. All along, I thought, THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE EASIER. HOW can there be that many people who play guitar if it’s so hard? This question still lingers. Took me like two decades to be able to strum the majors and minors. I had two lessons back then. Since then I learned all chords and scales. I practice strumming along to gangster rap, for the rhythm. I can improvise. Because I’m my dad’s daughter: piano-offspring. I will play this shit well before I die. Long after I can sing well or look attractive. But that’ll be enough I think. It seems like piano was easier than guitar. But I always wanted guitar because it’s not huge and heavy. You can move around with it on. Like piano, it’s your hands doing separate but related things. As a singer, I was an excellent mimic, and then I had original sounds. So I mastered my own goals, and in dreams, I still play gigs, everywhere. I still go to the studio, figure out equipment, record shit, meet with Mark, and other musicians (my bandmate). In my next lifetime, maybe I’ll be unstoppable, and not waste as much time, worrying. I was capable of waking up early to practice, but not staying up late to perform and party. For that, I crashed out. If I had both abilities, I would’ve made it big. I believe that. I chose to get enough sleep rather than do speed. With speed, I could’ve sped up and been outgoing or been able to earn wages plus rock out. I couldn’t but who cares. I’m still gonna play guitar. It’s one of the only expectations I still have for myself. I thought if I had free-time, I’d be constantly creating. False. But I still play guitar every day, and I walk my dog. So I’m fine. Life is a full-time situation, without wage-labor added to it. I’d be fine not working. But I don’t know if I’d finish my novel. Lately, only guitar is soothing. The novel sleeps, perhaps forever, but likely only another month or so. Guitar is harder than it looks, even manually.