1 Special, Special Needs Aide/Companion of 1 Special Young Adult
I woke up rested! Yay. I remembered that by the end of my time with William yesterday, we were holding or touching hands again, almost constantly. He started leading me around again, bouncing between locations in the house and activities, including the bathroom. His hands are super soft, and smallish because he doesn’t use them for anything but making small fists and punching himself when he’s too frustrated. For this he has a nice, soft helmet to wear, which helps a little bit. This is for sure the hardest part of working with or having kids with Autism, the aggression that’s usually SIB. Some kids also attack care-givers (head-butting, biting, pinching are common), but parents and caregivers REALLY hate to see the SIBs and will do almost anything to avoid them. Usually they give in to a request that they’ve been trying to deny or wait (sometimes you HAVE to wait, like the thing you want literally isn’t there), and they don’t seem to understand that. Where things and people come from, and why, can remain a mystery. And William was probably mystifed that I reappeared after disappearing a few years ago. But he accepted me back. I said some of his favorite scripts and we got to rocking together, smiling with eye contact. We sang happy birthday to him (not his birthday) and I knew to pretend to blow out the candles as we put our hands together. “make a wish!” I know after a year or so with him, I had been trying to push him and his mom to be a little more flexible and resist some of the demands, and I got frustrated. I was spending too much time with him, like long shifts into bedtime. I wanted him to stop gesturing for me to help him blow/pick his nose with tissue, and go the hell to sleep! You keep saying the goodnight script back and forth, but his eyes keep opening back up, or he starts bouncing his leg. When he knows you WANT him to sleep, he cannot. My kids at school were like this too. If they know you WANT them to leave the room, then they’ll stop, and come back in, or stand in the doorway prompted more negative feedback. But last time I worked for William’s mom, I was also working as an RBT, and they’ll all about pushing, versus accepting. They truly believe you can modify dangerous behaviors of people with autism by training them away from it. I don’t think you necessarily can. You can’t even train an alcoholic away from alcohol with sex. And alcohol is just a disease, not an entire brain setup. Although it becomes one. Okay, odd comparison. William hasn’t ever shown any signs of sexuality. His mom said it’s because of all the medication he takes. Also, such a thing as ACES exist. I’m on that continuum of pretty, pastel flags. So holding hands with William isn’t weird, it’s like as with a twin. But I can realize that this is healthy for me, to have human contact. Maybe I also need an achor person! My pets are my anchor, now. That’s why I wish I could bring my dog everywhere. Once I asked to bring my dog to work with William but they said no. Lots of allergies. Let’s all pray to the Cardi B that I find a way to make cash from home enough to live on and care for my anchorage. You know the worst part of onlyfans? You have to socialize and network to grow your paying audience. the horror!