Censorship
I can't seem to express myself.
For example, one time I wrote on a poster in my apartment complex. In response, my landlady scolded me over email to never do that again or else be charged for destruction of property. Well, I don't know my rights here, seems like I have none.
Outside the home, I am expelled-for-life from college campus. This is after being banned-for-life from the philosophy club's discord server. The original crime was sharing research and talking too much. That was enough for the online censorship at Philosophy Club. Later, I did a dance and chant which awarded me 1-year suspension & expulsion. Finally, to seal the deal, they arrested me for studying at the library. By mere existence at the library, I was expelled for life from Portland State University. Quite dystopian because the library is the home of ideas. The library is the one place most symbolically anti-censorship. The presence of police at the library is like a scene in Fahrenheit 451.
In the online world, like Reddit, I am banned often. Well, that's only when I'm lucky enough to have my online posts approved. Many times, my posts are auto-censored due to filters based on my “karma” or “account age”. My karma is in the negative because others don't like what I have to say, often for petty and benign reasons. Other websites like Stack Exchange are the same way: downvotes, locked down, silenced, censored, banned, scapegoated, exiled, etc. Facebook and X are so embedded that one has to be in the clique to have readers. On x particularly, the people are so utterly insane and batshit crazy, that it's best to avoid it entirely. Places like YouTube live are so ephemeral, anonymous, and dehumanizing that it's also best to avoid as well. Discord has potential with its group voice and video, but the anonymity ruins it. Also, some moderators are idiotic and megalomaniacal, like the PSU Philosophy Club Officers (i.e., “Cowardly” Avery and “Peter Pan” Tam.)
Even at work, my hours were reduced to 0 as a result of reporting elder abuse and harassment from a coworker. The managers simply did not like me. Surely, I can't be the only one. I know of another worker who left the facility to work elsewhere. Also, I heard of a rumor of a worker who was let-go because of their union support.
Perhaps connected to this theme of isolation and alienation, even my brother and father don't talk to me. My brother in particular is real prickly. He seems to get offended everytime we talk. He's into computers and programming, so maybe the algorithm hooked him in. Maybe I'm hooked in by an algorithm? Maybe my algorithm is different from others, so my brain is washed differently than others, making us see things differently. Who knows?
I'm tired of the idea of pushing people away. They still exist, and you didn't solve the problem. You just killed any opportunity of community, mutual understanding, and empathy. Instead, you sow division, hate, and animosity.